She left me...

[G8GT594]

Some of you guys met her at the meet at VMS. Her name is Jennifer. Were both young, but thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We were off and on for the first couple months of our relationship but ended up working out great. I loved her and still do withall my heart. And after 3 years 1 month and 14 days shes gone. I don't know what i did wrong, i have no clue. She doesn't want me even talking to her at all. She told me she just wants to be free and not worry about me. I don't know what that means. After all we have been through, everything, i have so much memories built up with her. We were going to get married next year in the summer. Guys, im seriously devasted, ive been balling my outs since 630 this morning. Work was horrible, i couldnt see the computer. Ive never felt this horrible in my life. I sit and all i do is think about her and i cant figure out why she was able to leave me like she did. She look misrable when she said but didn't cry. I just fell on the floor and couldn't move. I feel like my heart is seriously torn into hundreds of little peices. She wont pick up when i call, doesnt respond to my text. I dont know what to do. I just love so much and its all gone now.

[wreckwriter]

It gets better with time. Sounds cliche but it's reality.

[G8GT594]

It gets better with time. Sounds cliche but it's reality.

I know, its not my first serious relationship but i never thought she could break my heart like this. As i type im still crying. I don't want my family to know just yet because i dont want them to see me like this. It sucks because i have no one to turn to. My life revolved around her and work. I bought this car thinking if we start a family in the next couple years it would be perfect. I don't even want to own it now. Everytime i drive it i think about the smile on her face as is finished signing the paperwork for it. I never thought this would happen. I never thought she would walk like she did.

[Steve]

Sorry to hear that :( hang in there

[Blackdevil77]

I'm so sorry to hear that bro. I have a story as well, but of corse, that's a different story. I can imagine how you feel and I know it's pretty damn painful. Worse than pulling every tooth out of your mouth. She should at least tell you why she is doing this i think. I'm very sorry, i feel for you. hang in there. Things can only get better from here.

[G8GT594]

Thank you guys. We were arguing a little off and on but it wasn't over anything serious. I just don't know what happened. She just straight up told me she didn't feel anything when i kissed her or held her in my arms. I just want to know what happened! How could she go from seeing me all the time and just straight up leaving me like i was some random guy. Ive been through so much with her, put my life into her. All my time to her, everything i had, everything i could offer. 3 years turned to shit. I'm gonna get drunk and take my entire bottle of ambien and hope i never wake up. Nothing else matters to me except her.

[GT-610]

I dont think anyone here can say anything to make you feel better,but we all do feel for you,man.like it was said before....time and alot of it...sorry...nothing hurts more than that in my book

[Blackdevil77]

Thank you guys. We were arguing a little off and on but it wasn't over anything serious. I just don't know what happened. She just straight up told me she didn't feel anything when i kissed her or held her in my arms. I just want to know what happened! How could she go from seeing me all the time and just straight up leaving me like i was some random guy. Ive been through so much with her, put my life into her. All my time to her, everything i had, everything i could offer. 3 years turned to shit. I'm gonna get drunk and take my entire bottle of ambien and hope i never wake up. Nothing else matters to me except her.

yup i definitely know how you feel. I felt the same way which is kinda sad since I'm 18. You want my advice, then go out with your friends and just have a blast with all of them. Nothing will help you feel better more than laughing and having fun with a bunch of guys around you that care about you. Better than all the ambien and alcohol in the world, trust me. And GT-610 is right, nothing does hurt more.

[Blackrider]

Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what it is. The only thing we can do is express our emissions and then move on. It will only get better with time.

I know driving my second love always always makes me feel better. :thumbsup:

[wreckwriter]

I'm gonna get drunk and take my entire bottle of ambien and hope i never wake up. Nothing else matters to me except her.

That would be well and truly stupid.

[Blackdevil77]

That would be well and truly stupid.

I felt the same way. He's just not thinking rationally right now. I said and thought a lot of stuff like that to and now when i think about it, im like, that is the dumbest shit ever.

[EcoBrick Bob]

Give her time.... If that fails.... it's for your best interest. I'm a fatalist... have had many unique and unbelieveable situations that in the end worked out for the best...

You did the most important thing.... you reached out...

ROB

[G8GT594]

Thank you guys, honestly i don't have any friends anymore. I pushed them all away when i started spending every second i could with her. I havent had a true friend since i graduated high school almost 4 and a half years ago. I don't have anyone to talk about it. I'm not about to bring it up to co-workers or anything what an awkward situation that would be. I'm just trying to do things to get my mind off of her but nothing works. I still don't get how she could just left me like she did yesterday night. Its almost like it was i was nothing to her.

[PostalCherokee]

Give her a chance to come around. Maybe she just needs some space and then will talk with you.

[Blackdevil77]

Thank you guys, honestly i don't have any friends anymore. I pushed them all away when i started spending every second i could with her. I havent had a true friend since i graduated high school almost 4 and a half years ago. I don't have anyone to talk about it. I'm not about to bring it up to co-workers or anything what an awkward situation that would be. I'm just trying to do things to get my mind off of her but nothing works. I still don't get how she could just left me like she did yesterday night. Its almost like it was i was nothing to her.

Like other's have said here, give her some time. She can't just poof and vanish. If she's human, she's gotta have some concern for somebody she's been with that long. Eventually she'll call or try to find out how your doing and you'll have your answer's. You just gotta be patient. As for the friends thing, I'm also sorry to hear that but am having a hard time believing there is nobody you can hit up and talk to about your problem. Who WAS your best friend before you pushed them away? Try to contact him and talk to him about it. In person preferably. You gotta be with other's to feel better. When your alone, all you do is think about it.

[Blackrider]

That would be well and truly stupid.


Whoa I missed that part.



What you’re talking about is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s not fair to yourself,or anyone else you call a friends or family. It’s about the most selfish thing someone can do.

[GeorgeInNePa]

Thank you guys. We were arguing a little off and on but it wasn't over anything serious. I just don't know what happened. She just straight up told me she didn't feel anything when i kissed her or held her in my arms. I just want to know what happened! How could she go from seeing me all the time and just straight up leaving me like i was some random guy. Ive been through so much with her, put my life into her. All my time to her, everything i had, everything i could offer. 3 years turned to shit. I'm gonna get drunk and take my entire bottle of ambien and hope i never wake up. Nothing else matters to me except her.


Whoaaaaa buddy, knock that shit off.

I'm all for getting drunk, but don't even kid around about the bottle of pills.

[GTPprix]

Ok skip the ambien, I've been in the same situation PM me we can go grab a drink or something.. I've got a story that will truly make you go WTF LOL

[GeorgeInNePa]

Whoa I missed that part.



What you’re talking about is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s not fair to yourself,or anyone else you call a friends or family. It’s about the most selfish thing someone can do.
+1

[Blackdevil77]

Ok skip the ambien, I've been in the same situation PM me we can go grab a drink or something.. I've got a story that will truly make you go WTF LOL

see you got friends you don't even know about on the boards! If I was local, id be settin up dates to.

[G8GT594]

Like other's have said here, give her some time. She can't just poof and vanish. If she's human, she's gotta have some concern for somebody she's been with that long. Eventually she'll call or try to find out how your doing and you'll have your answer's. You just gotta be patient. As for the friends thing, I'm also sorry to hear that but am having a hard time believing there is nobody you can hit up and talk to about your problem. Who WAS your best friend before you pushed them away? Try to contact him and talk to him about it. In person preferably. You gotta be with other's to feel better. When your alone, all you do is think about it.

You guys are right. I know i should give her time and her space. Its so much easier said than done. Its almost become like a habit to just pick up the phone and call her. Going to bed without her next to me is like asking me to move a mountain. Waking up to her gone, is almost heart stoping. I've never felt so lonely and so out of touch in my entire life. I don't know how to keep myself busy to not think about her. Everything i do reminds me of her in some kind of way. I thank god i can turn to you guys at least. I dont know what i would be doing right now. I thank im just going to take a hot bath and bring the bottle of absolut with me.

[GXPaycheck]

Real friends are always there. I have 2 ex wives, so I know where you're comming from. Hurts like hell but you get past it. Emotions come and go. Ya can't trust them. Let them run their course and move on. Find folks to talk to. Get a good counselor. Trust me, it works!

[GeorgeInNePa]

A few days or even a week from now, you'll feel better.

If she doesn't come back, remember this;

"The easiest way to get over a girl is to get under another one."


;)

:banana:

[Weldon]

hey buddie...only thing i can say is everything happens for a reason...and i cant express how much this proverb is true man. this happened for a reason..god has a plan for your life and is using this in it. just keep on trucking. its darkest before dawn. always remember that. i know its rough...i know it hurts. that lonely feeling is tough...and as much as i want to tell you its gunna be alright. i cant because its gunna hurt for a few weeks. but thats all part of it. everything happens for a reason. give her time and space maybe yall will end up back togather...hang in there buddie...we are all here for you. but remember, god will never put you through something he knows you cant handle. so you got this bro. we all love you and are here for you.

[-Ray-]

Sorry I'm so late on this one Paul. It's easy to say but difficult to do,but you need to detach and soon.
Don't let your mind play with you like that. You have value as a person, not because you had a grirlfriend, but because you are you. Let her go. Find something to keep you busy.
A little story. After one of my ex-wive's left me I went into a bar and must have had a good time, because when I went back the next afternoon, this girl faces me and waves and yells Hiiiiiiiiiiiii. I didn't remember her, but she went on to tell me how I told the whole bar about my divorce. Don't be like me. LOL
I know you are reaching out because of the pain. If sharing that with us helps then please continue.
Please do not make anymore suicide comments. Some people take those seriously and may take some action. If you need to talk, send me a PM, I'll send you my cell number.
You can call anytime.
Ray

[G8GT594]

Thank you guys and thank you Ray. I know you met her so it means a lot for you to say that. I'm so thankful you guys are here for me. I've got so much mix emotions right now. I love her to death and will never forget about her but as i sat and thought how could she do this to me? Was everything a lie? Just out of know were like this. How long had she been feeling like this? Did she even want to be with me the the week before or the week before that or was she to afraid or something to say anything. Did i mean anything to her or was it all a lie? I know i sound crazy right now but this is killin me. Its like i have to know just what i did wrong. Why she stopped loving me. Why not talking to me first before leaving. Was i not good enough, did i not provide, i guess ill never know. I thought she was the one, and i thought i was the one for her. I guess love is not always ment to last but i would do anything just to kiss her one last time. I love you guys and thanks so much for being here for me. I just didnt know were to go.

[Andy@Livernois]

I hear your pain. Me and my wife split up after dating when she was pregnant with our son. It was totaly torture to me. I thought the worst things, hated everyone because of it, but I eventually realized everything would work out how it was supposed to.

I was right, after she gave birth to our son everything started to go right again, her and I started talking like normal people, and eventually eveerything set itself right. I couldn't imagine messing it up by being with someone else. There is no right or wrong advice that someone can give. Everyon's situation is different. I am glad that I waited, we have been together for 8 years since then...

I can remember how many people told me to move on, find another girl, enjoy my freedom. I knew that wasn't right, but your situation might be different, it may be right for you to move on. Somewhere inside you know what is best, it will just take time to see it...

[-Ray-]

You can stop the mindfuck anytime you're ready. I know it's painful, but don't make it worse with all the what if's and guessing. The reality is your broke up. When you get to the point that you can accept that, the pain will start to go away.
BTW, you will forget her. Someday you'll meet someone that you will spend more time with and share credit cards. She won't be too thrilled about you if you mention your previous SO's.

[wreckwriter]

You can stop the mindfuck anytime you're ready. I know it's painful, but don't make it worse with all the what if's and guessing. The reality is your broke up. When you get to the point that you can accept that, the pain will start to go away.
BTW, you will forget her. Someday you'll meet someone that you will spend more time with and share credit cards. She won't be too thrilled about you if you mention your previous SO's.

+1

[G8GT594]

Andy, im glad your situation worked out for you!

You guys are right, i can stop the mindfuck whenever but i just feel like it questions i need to know. But i guess it doesn't even matter anymore. Were broke up like you said Ray. Its fucked, i hate it and boy do i mean i fucking hate it. But the truth is i love her withall my heart and i guess i have to force myself to get over her. I need to move on i know its going to take time if not for her at least for me. I just got off the phone with one of her former friends. Ive only met her once but whatever. She suggested i go out and find another girl and screw her. I'm like uhhh ok. I'm just not that kind of person i guess. But now im sitting here a little buzzed sad and pissed. Im pissed that she could just walk out on me like that and not even give me a kiss or a hug goodbye. Im fucking pissed that it seems like she didnt care about anything i did for her. I seriously took care of her. Payed for her gas, i helped her with her school because i didnt want her taking out loans right away. I gave her the world and more and this is what fucking happens to me. Is it true that nice guys always finish last? Fuck i know im using this almost as a blog now but the more i think about how easy it was for her to say goodbye the more i get upset. I already dead waking up in the morning though know how hard its going to be.

[G8Smitty]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. You are getting sound advise. You are not going to make sense of anything right now, so don't even try. Do what you can to move on and remember that time does heal all wounds.

[GeorgeInNePa]

Andy, im glad your situation worked out for you!

You guys are right, i can stop the mindfuck whenever but i just feel like it questions i need to know. But i guess it doesn't even matter anymore. Were broke up like you said Ray. Its fucked, i hate it and boy do i mean i fucking hate it. But the truth is i love her withall my heart and i guess i have to force myself to get over her. I need to move on i know its going to take time if not for her at least for me. I just got off the phone with one of her former friends. Ive only met her once but whatever. She suggested i go out and find another girl and screw her. I'm like uhhh ok. I'm just not that kind of person i guess. But now im sitting here a little buzzed sad and pissed. Im pissed that she could just walk out on me like that and not even give me a kiss or a hug goodbye. Im fucking pissed that it seems like she didnt care about anything i did for her. I seriously took care of her. Payed for her gas, i helped her with her school because i didnt want her taking out loans right away. I gave her the world and more and this is what fucking happens to me. Is it true that nice guys always finish last? Fuck i know im using this almost as a blog now but the more i think about how easy it was for her to say goodbye the more i get upset. I already dead waking up in the morning though know how hard its going to be.

Losing the self pity and getting pissed is the first step.

You are going to be fine. It doesn't seem like it now, but someday her name will evoke almost no emotion from you.

[It's A G8!]

Just think about it,its better now than if you would have married her.That would of hurt 10X worse. Time heals all wounds.

[Blackdevil77]

Just like George said, now the extreme sadness is turning into some anger and id say anyone would get angry when they think about it. The worst thing you can do though is think it has something to do with you. Don't go thinking something is wrong with you. It's not you, you are you and who ever you find better like you for you. If this was going to happen, it is better off you didn't get married. Things could have always been worse.

[Mike P]

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear what happened. I just saw this when I got home. Definitely give it some time. It is definitely natural to be down when something like that ends or goes into hiatus, after that much time together.

Try to do other things to take your mind off it. But time will make it easier. Definitely be strong & take it easy......


Mike P.



...

[JMorris]

OK I'm gonna give it to you straight and I'm gonna sound like an asshole but It's time for some tuff love. You can listen to the It's better to love and lost than not to have loved, time heals, yada yada all night. I'm just going to cut to the chase be the prick in this thread and tell you what the others have not but needed to.

First.... yes, it hurts most all of us have been through it. In fact a friend of mine with two boys ages 2 and 7 is going through a divorce now (she cheated on him). So you are better off than many suffering in a similar situation. Don't think for a minute that your situation is unique. No, you will never forget her, she will be in your dreams for the rest of your life. Ya, it sucks but you need to grow a pair and suck it up. The whole self pity melodrama thing is likely part of the reason she left.

Why did she leave? She told you, and you told us. She is tired of worrying about you! Evidently you are too sensitive and emotional for her. New flash, not every woman wants that in a man, that's the shit they get from there girlfriends. You need to get that shit in check and act like a man, even if you do feel like an emotional punching bag right now.

Yes, you did everything for her how-ever you need to do things because you want to, not because you want something in return (like her staying with) If you can't love respect yourself first you will never be able to do the same for some one else. You should have never gave up all your friends, some perhaps but you still have to have a sense of self. There has to more to you than just her. You need to be able to stand up for you self and think about you sometimes. Seems all you had was the "us" mentality. I'm not saying you should be selfish and insensitive but giving up everything makes you lose what ever it was that was you.

I might be off base about you maybe you are a manly sort of man and just a nice guy who knows? Right now though you come off as soft and in need a testosterone boost. If that's the case here is another way you could look at it.

There are five basic love languages. If you have a different ones from your mate it leads to trouble. I know this as mine doesn't match my wifes and it make life hard. Everyone expresses there love in one of these groups and at least one secondary. Let me see if I can recall them.

There are those who like physical contact and express this through touch (holding hands, sex, or just sitting next to each other.) Some like words of affirmation (you look nice, I love you etc) Others like small gifts (a card or love note, a flower now and then). Some like for you to show you care by doing things like the dishes, laundry, wash the car etc. I forgot what that is called. Crap, I don't even remember the last one now.

Any way the point is you need to know what it is you and she respond to. If you constantly buy her stuff and she doesn't give a damn about cards or flowers but wants you to wash the dirty dishes she will never see that you are trying to say I love you even though it says it in the card. Conversely if you do all the work around the house to show your love she might be pissed that you are not sitting next to her on the couch or that you are so tired from doing all those things for her that you didn't bone her. I think by now you get the point.

At this point your best option is stop calling her, stop e-mailing her, stop texting her. Leave her alone! When she can see that you you are strong enough to stand on your own. When she can see that you can deal with you own issues, make up your own mind and do the things you want for you. When you can act like a man and be strong on your own with out her maybe you will again become desirable to her. If that happens make sure you speak her love language and visa versa.

Sorry to come off as a dick but I don't know any other way to get the point across. I do feel sorry for your situation as I said, I have been there. Suck it up though man, life is hard. Pull your self out of the mud and get on with living YOUR life.

[SRG963]

sorry for the late post on the subject

Keep your head up and don't do anything stupid. Women can have your head spinning with questions....Just don't think about it.

Call your boys....your friends will be there for you when you need them.

[G8V8]

I hear you and remember what you are feeling. I was married for 12 years until one night we had one of those talks that start with her saying, "We need to talk." Nothing good EVER follows that opening. She left. I thought my world ended. I would never be happy again. I would never know love again. All those things you are feeling, I felt. Why? What did I do? What should I have done? how could she stop loving me overnight?

It will pass. When it passes depends on you. Getting drunk doesn't help. It only postpones when you have to deal with the loss. I was on a first name basis with jack Daniels. He didn't really care.

Pills and booze ends your pain as well as any chance you will have to find what you are looking for and being happy. It is also very selfish. Your pain (and joy) are over but the ones that love you will suffer a lifetime of sadness and guilt wonder what they could have done to see it and stop it. I know. I've been through it. I've seen the effect. And by the way, it won't ruin her life. She left you. She will move on.

If you look inward all you will see now is the pain and sadness. You need to force yourself to look outward. That is where life and joy and love are. Do something to help others and you will find out that you're good and worth being loved. You get back more than you give. Volunteer at church, be a big brother, be a mentor. Try to stop thinking about you and think of helping others who are in worse situations than you and you will feel good about yourself again. Then you find the joy in life.

I thought my life was over. I was going to be a sad, lonely old man. BS. If you look for sadness you will find it. If you look for happiness and joy, you will find it.

I found it because I came to realize that instead of "knowing" tomorrow was going to be the worst day of my life, tomorrow could be the best day of my life if I gave myself to it and dropped the "Oh poor me" attitude. I had friends, old friends who were still my friends even though we had been out of touch for a while.

The worst day with my second wife of 17 years is better than the best day with my "starter wife" of 12 years.

When you realize that shit happens, even to good people and that you have value, others will see it too and your life will be better.

Good luck.

[99-LS1-SS]

For the most part I agree with JMorris. I'm not going to take such a hard line but the message is basically the same. I can assure you that I've been there and I completely understand your pain. You just have to take one step at a time and keep plugging along. It WILL get better eventually. You aren't going to wake up tomorrow and magically be better. Try to get over the self pity stuff as quickly as possible. That will hurt you on many levels. When you are like that you might as well have a big flashing sign on your head that says stay away from me I'm high maintenance.

One more thing, STOP with the suicide shit!! That is you feeling sorry for yourself and regardless of what is spinning around in your head, the only thing it will do is absolutely fuck your family up. Your family doesn't deserve that stress or heartache. Like the Soul to Soul song says, "Keep on movin'".

Good luck.

[G8GT594]

Thank you so much guys for the encouraging words. I had a rough night and a very rough morning. Now i see these posts i feel a little better almost inspired to try and block everything out. JMorris, after your reading your post i sat there and thought maybe there is some hope. About the love language thing, i get what you are saying. But the reality is she did leave me. I shouldn't expect anything, infact i guess i should expect the worse. I'm giving her space and time. How long that will be im not sure. I would love to get back with her but she needs to be happy first and if im not the one that can't make her happy then i hope someone else can. It hard to toss all those memories away like that, what could have been, what happened in the past but it needs to be done.

Thank you for your post G8V8. You guys all have been through more then i have so it mean a lot to read these posts. I guess moving on happens when i want it to happen. I realized last night when i was trying to go to bed that i can't let this happen to me. I need to suck it up and move on. I finally called my mother and told her this morning. She told me to look at it as a learn experience and move on. There will always been someone else out there but now i need to focus on myself for once instead of her. Then she told me to grow up and be man and that i better than this LOL. Sometime i was there was a delete key on my mind so i could erase everything but i know that this is not that easy. I am truly thankful be able to turn to you guys and let it out.

I love you guys and i don't know what i would have done without eveeryone. I know time does heal everything but i can't let it if i sit here and dwell on her. Thank you guys. I guess i can use this time to straigten out my own life. I know its going to be hard but shit, ive been through a shit ton in my short life i know i can get through this. As my grandpa always told me, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

[G8V8]

Way to go 594. Kudos to your mother, too.

Let the light at the end of the tunnel be the "staged" light. cut a good light and run a great ET.

Good luck. You will be fine. You are HER loss!

[Blackdevil77]

Way to go 594. Kudos to your mother, too.

Let the light at the end of the tunnel be the "staged" light. cut a good light and run a great ET.

Good luck. You will be fine. You are HER loss!


+1

[Ghouse1803]

yea I agree I have a friend similar to you and he can never get dates cause hes too nice. Women want men to stand tall be proud, have alot of self esteem, even a little cocky. Show her that you dont need her and you are your own man. if there is one thing i have learned is nice guys finish last!! you have to tell her NO every once in a while to keep her wanting more, if that make sense. I would take that fancy car of yours and go pick up some girl and make sure your ex finds out about it. then let her sit there a stu about it. and quit crying ...... no one likes a cry baby!!!

[Chewy]

Some of you guys met her at the meet at VMS. Her name is Jennifer. Were both young, but thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We were off and on for the first couple months of our relationship but ended up working out great. I loved her and still do withall my heart. And after 3 years 1 month and 14 days shes gone. I don't know what i did wrong, i have no clue. She doesn't want me even talking to her at all. She told me she just wants to be free and not worry about me. I don't know what that means. After all we have been through, everything, i have so much memories built up with her. We were going to get married next year in the summer. Guys, im seriously devasted, ive been balling my outs since 630 this morning. Work was horrible, i couldnt see the computer. Ive never felt this horrible in my life. I sit and all i do is think about her and i cant figure out why she was able to leave me like she did. She look misrable when she said but didn't cry. I just fell on the floor and couldn't move. I feel like my heart is seriously torn into hundreds of little peices. She wont pick up when i call, doesnt respond to my text. I dont know what to do. I just love so much and its all gone now.


I TOTALLY know where you are M8! It sucks and you feel (truly) like your heart is broken but it will go away. It will take time but it will happen. Cry it out and talk to friends about it. You will go through all the stages. I still hate the one that did it to me. She made ME break up with her as she was to chicken to do it. Looking back at it, it was a GREAT thing and I'm sure that you will see it that way too.

When it happened to me I posted a thread on my SV motorcycle forum which helped a bit too. HERE (http://www.sv-portal.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19299)

Chin up M8! Remember you were able to live just fine before you met her and you'll be just fine now. You will find another one. Just take some time off and don't expect it to happen right away.

Cheers,
Chris

[99-LS1-SS]

I was going to refrain from posting my screwed up past but I feel it may help you in your healing. I'm married to my soul mate. I know people say that and don't necessarily mean it but I truly believe and feel that I found the perfect person for me.

Now having said that, I was married once before. I dated this girl for 3 years. I finally asked her to marry me and she said yes. Well, 3 months after the wedding I caught her in bed with another guy. I was absolutely devastated and crushed. I couldn't sleep. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. I laid on my brothers couch and trembled until I eventually fell asleep. I've never experienced anything like that. I'm not a "sensitive" guy. I'm not a crier and I don't get upset easy but that experience completely unhinged me. It took me at least 2 to 3 months to stop shaking and probably an entire year to fully get over what happened.

I figured I was just someone that was never meant to be truly happy and I had accepted that fact. I dated girls and I fell in love but not truly in love. I had ups and downs. Then one day I met the woman of my dreams. It wasn't a one sided relationship. We BOTH felt that we had found our soul mates.

The one thing I really learned from all of this is that given EVERY shitty thing that has happened to me (believe me there has been a LOT), I would GLADLY go through every painful second of it again if it meant that I would end up with my soul mate. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, things happen for a reason. If you guys split up then that means there is someone else out there for you. Don't settle and always keep looking. If you ever ask yourself, "is this the right woman for me" then you need to keep looking. Once you find her you will know. And remember it will be mutual not just the way you feel.

Sorry if this is too much information or doesn't make sense. I'm trying to give you hope in an odd way.

[G8GT594]

I was going to refrain from posting my screwed up past but I feel it may help you in your healing. I'm married to my soul mate. I know people say that and don't necessarily mean it but I truly believe and feel that I found the perfect person for me.

Now having said that, I was married once before. I dated this girl for 3 years. I finally asked her to marry me and she said yes. Well, 3 months after the wedding I caught her in bed with another guy. I was absolutely devastated and crushed. I couldn't sleep. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. I laid on my brothers couch and trembled until I eventually fell asleep. I've never experienced anything like that. I'm not a "sensitive" guy. I'm not a crier and I don't get upset easy but that experience completely unhinged me. It took me at least 2 to 3 months to stop shaking and probably an entire year to fully get over what happened.

I figured I was just someone that was never meant to be truly happy and I had accepted that fact. I dated girls and I fell in love but not truly in love. I had ups and downs. Then one day I met the woman of my dreams. It wasn't a one sided relationship. We BOTH felt that we had found our soul mates.

The one thing I really learned from all of this is that given EVERY shitty thing that has happened to me (believe me there has been a LOT), I would GLADLY go through every painful second of it again if it meant that I would end up with my soul mate. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, things happen for a reason. If you guys split up then that means there is someone else out there for you. Don't settle and always keep looking. If you ever ask yourself, "is this the right woman for me" then you need to keep looking. Once you find her you will know. And remember it will be mutual not just the way you feel.

Sorry if this is too much information or doesn't make sense. I'm trying to give you hope in an odd way.

Shit that is horrible! I would have just died if i were you. I'm glad you found your love now. I have calmed down a lot. I'm thinking straight again, getting my life back on track and learning to do without her. I miss her but what can i do about it? Nothing. I got back to lifting again, and taking care of things that i didnt while i was with her. Its funny how just 1 day can make a difference. Its lonly around my house now, but that is the least of my worrys. At times today i thought of her and wonderd what she was doing but then i think if she really cares if im thinking of her. I'm just getting so full of anger now and hate toward her. Just a learning experience. I talked to my mom again today about this it funny to see what she really thinks of her. Maybe its just because she left me. It just getting a smoother. I know its going to take a while for the pain to be gone and waking up in the morning not to hurt anymore but just keeping busy and talking to others makes a huge difference!

[GeorgeInNePa]

Just don't let the anger get to be too much.

Hate is not beneficial to you. You're looking for ambivalence.

[phlydude]

Look at it this way...yes, it may be devastating now but imagine what it would be like if you were closer to getting married or married (and possibly with kids and/or pets!)

Best to find out now that it wasn't going to work out...take the extra free time and go visit your parents (I'm sure you haven't spent as much time talking to mom since you've serious)

reach out to some friends to get together for a night of fun (all guys lose touch with their friends from their teenage years...especially as everyone goes to school and finds themselves in relationships)

take some time to remove traces of her from your house/apartment - make the place your place, not your place with signs of her all over

save the money that you spent on/with her and save it...watch that money accumulate quickly!

take time to get yourself in order...don't go out looking to get a new relationship - sure sex might feel good, in fact it might feel like you are avenging the break-up but giving how you feel right now, you will fall head over heels for the girl you bag and it won't be right - you could be in the same spot as you are in now

after some time, take time to go sow your oats - it is human nature (no matter how much religion and family values have told you it is wrong) to go propagate your DNA across as many mates as possible - don't fight your human nature

DON'T sit in and eat junk and sit on your ass on the computer or PS3/X360...nothing comes of it but extra lbs. - go take out your frustrations in a gym...you never know, you might find some strange there that is up for after gym activities :bpress:

Spend some money on mods! Make that car yours, not one that she liked that you bought :repair:

Just remember, when the time comes that you have found someone else to get serious with, PRE-NUP!! You work(ed) too hard to accumulate what you have, if by some chance (and odds are that at some point you have a 1 in 2 shot) things don't work out, you keep what you had before you got married and someone that comes in and enjoys the fruits of your labor doesn't take it from you while you struggle to get buy on your salary paying for your own apartment while you have to pick up the mortgage and she is driving around in your car!

[JMorris]

Your on the right track already! I'm sorry that I took such a hard line last night but I felt you needed a slap in the face of sorts. The crying self pity part is normal but it's dangerous to dwell there. Anger is also normal, again not some thing you should spend time stewing in though.

You have been given some good advice here by many. One is to stay active, find an outlet for the frustration. Working out is an excellent thing for you do if you don't already. I worked out like a mad man (3 times a day about 4 hrs worth while working my normal 8 hr shift and an additional 4 hr mandatory shift) when I lost one of the women I was love with while in the military. When I lost my mother, I did an unbelievable amount of gardening and work around the house. Staying active helps keep your mind off the situation when you need to. This is a far better choice than drugs or alcohol.

Think about what you said in one of your last posts. You said she needs to be happy first / you want her to be happy. What you should be thinking is YOU need to be happy. Change your train of thought if you can and put your needs first right now and always! Well, except when you get kids maybe. The thing is if you are not happy and healthy, those around you will not be either. Given the choice they will leave for self preservation. If you think about it, it's not being selfish, quite the opposite.

I'm glad to hear you change your tune so soon. Keep your head up and keep on trucking. Don't make me slap you again! LOL I'm really not a dick, just wanted to pull you out of the mud. The love language thing I mentioned is real. You may have done nothing more than speak a different language, even though she spoke yours.

[MANOFSTEEL69]

Look.....I feel for your situation, but damn, grow some balls and move on. It's done and over. The number one rule for life is don't look back, and don't go back. If she did call you and want to get back together....don't. You will never forget what she did to you in the past, and it will always eat at you. There is a million+ other options out there and more being made every day, (you just gotta wait 18yrs to have them ;) ).

[G8GT594]

I feel like being active is key here for me to forget about this and keep my mind off of her. She hasnt called me, e-mailed, nothing. The pain is still there but im done pittying myself, the only time im at home now is to sleep. Your guys post really motivate me to do this. To forget about her. I know the memories don't fade away quickly but at least i dont have to think about them. I've set pictures of us aside, coffee cups that we got made, everything. Obviously she doesn't care why should i? If this was so easy for her i surely can do the same thing. I don't think she will want to get back together but you know what? Fuck it, after some of the things she said to me that night even if we got back together it wouldn't be the same.

[Chewy]

I feel like being active is key here for me to forget about this and keep my mind off of her. She hasnt called me, e-mailed, nothing. The pain is still there but im done pittying myself, the only time im at home now is to sleep. Your guys post really motivate me to do this. To forget about her. I know the memories don't fade away quickly but at least i dont have to think about them. I've set pictures of us aside, coffee cups that we got made, everything. Obviously she doesn't care why should i? If this was so easy for her i surely can do the same thing. I don't think she will want to get back together but you know what? Fuck it, after some of the things she said to me that night even if we got back together it wouldn't be the same.

If you don't change your avatar I WILL! :rant:

:whistle:

:o

[wreckwriter]

Or I will, that'll be worse :)

[GRRRR8]

Or I w...Never mind I dont know how! LOL. CHANGE IT.

[99-LS1-SS]

We could have a G8GT594 avatar contest!!
lol I got a lot of good ones.

[GeorgeInNePa]

or i will, that'll be worse :)

+1

;)

[G8GT594]

LOL. I don't have any avatars i like floating around on my computer. If a mod wants to upload go ahead as long as its not gay.

[wreckwriter]

Like this one?

[Chewy]

Mine is neutral... It can be anything but that was on my computer so I loaded it up.;)

[G8GT594]

No thanks wreck! LOL. Looks good now! Better than before...

I have a class with this girl, her name is ashely. Well i asked if she wanted to get a coffee after class. So we chatted for a while and kicked it off pretty good. Just was nice to talk to someone other than customers at work LOL. Anyways about an hour after she texted me and want to know what i was doing this weekend, so i guess were going to get dinner or something. No im not trying to get in her pants, but she is attractive LOL. Guess it just helps speed a long the getting over her process.

[wreckwriter]

Heh, just thought I'd toss it out there :)

As for Ashley, DO NOT discuss this situation with her or you'll deserve the avatar!

[g8_795]

Heh, just thought I'd toss it out there :)

As for Ashley, DO NOT discuss this situation with her or you'll deserve the avatar!

Excellent advise.

[GeorgeInNePa]

Heh, just thought I'd toss it out there :)

As for Ashley, DO NOT discuss this situation with her or you'll deserve the avatar!


Big +1 to that.

As far as this weekend, go back to my advice on getting over a girl.

;)


:headbang:

[Blackdevil77]

Yes sir, completely agree here. So tell me Paul, how we feelin now? Better right?

[G8GT594]

I know fellas i wont bring her up. George, that may come along who knows. Yes i am feeling a little bit better. I guess its the new excitment that is making it better. I would have to say it was the longest coffee trip ever. We got there around 8 and didnt leave each other until 11. We did talk about G8's LOL. I had my blazer with me so she didn't know about it. We were talking about cars and she brought up the G8. She said she likes them so i asked if shes ever been in one yet and she is like no. So of course im like well... ill pick you up in one this weekend. Shes like you have one, im like ya... then i said to myself well paul.. that was pretty tacky!

[Blackdevil77]

I know fellas i wont bring her up. George, that may come along who knows. Yes i am feeling a little bit better. I guess its the new excitment that is making it better. I would have to say it was the longest coffee trip ever. We got there around 8 and didnt leave each other until 11. We did talk about G8's LOL. I had my blazer with me so she didn't know about it. We were talking about cars and she brought up the G8. She said she likes them so i asked if shes ever been in one yet and she is like no. So of course im like well... ill pick you up in one this weekend. Shes like you have one, im like ya... then i said to myself well paul.. that was pretty tacky!

lol. Way to go! Shoulda been like "wait and see babe" then give her the wink :blink:

[wreckwriter]

Sounds like you're healing up quite nicely.

[edmanet]

Look.....I feel for your situation, but damn, grow some balls and move on. It's done and over. The number one rule for life is don't look back, and don't go back. If she did call you and want to get back together....don't. You will never forget what she did to you in the past, and it will always eat at you. There is a million+ other options out there and more being made every day, (you just gotta wait 18yrs to have them ;) ).

I have to agree...move on...don't look back. I've been married for more years than you've been alive and it isn't to my soulmate. My wife cheated a number of years ago but I stayed for the kids. Big mistake. My daughter will be 18 in a little over a year and I'll be paroled. I haven't had a relationship with my wife in years. I don't even speak to her unless I have too.

But if I do remember correctly that before I got married everytime a relationship ended the next one always seemed to be so much better. I guess what I trying to say is when you're ready to move on your life will be better all around.

And don't ever believe that shit they tell you its for no reason....there's always a reason whether it makes sense or not....

[wreckwriter]

And don't ever believe that shit they tell you its for no reason....there's always a reason whether it makes sense or not....

Yup, and when it's sudden and unexpected it's always the same reason.

[G8GT594]

I wouldnt exactly say healing up but getting my mind off of her. It feel good to be out and being with other people. Shit just being back in the gym again feel great. I did powerlifting competitions, but obviously stopped due to having know time to train. But i swear taking my anger and emotion out on the weights feels like heaven.

I think im just gonna take it slow and just go with the fuckin flow. It's funny to see how much stuff i really missed doing in just a few days. I mean i know its going to take a while to get totally over her, and hopefully replace the memories but im kinda enjoying the "me" time.

[Blackdevil77]

I wouldnt exactly say healing up but getting my mind off of her. It feel good to be out and being with other people. Shit just being back in the gym again feel great. I did powerlifting competitions, but obviously stopped due to having know time to train. But i swear taking my anger and emotion out on the weights feels like heaven.

I think im just gonna take it slow and just go with the fuckin flow. It's funny to see how much stuff i really missed doing in just a few days. I mean i know its going to take a while to get totally over her, and hopefully replace the memories but im kinda enjoying the "me" time.

Always gotta look on the bright side of things "the me time." Did you really powerlift? I used to go to the gym but recently stopped cuz my buddy I went with quit on me. I can't go by myself cuz knowin me, I'll drop a huge weight on my face. How much do you bench? lol

[G8GT594]

Always gotta look on the bright side of things "the me time." Did you really powerlift? I used to go to the gym but recently stopped cuz my buddy I went with quit on me. I can't go by myself cuz knowin me, I'll drop a huge weight on my face. How much do you bench? lol

Ya i started senior year in highschool and continued on with it for 3 years. I was a skinny little prick starting off. 165lbs at 6'1. At my peak i was 270lbs built like a bodybuilder but powerlifted. Max 1 rep bench without a bench shirt was 525lbs.

My friends lifted but stopped too. I just stuck with it. It just helped with stress in my life. Parents getting divorced blah blah. Hey don't feel bad, i smashed my finger inbetween the weights today...

[wreckwriter]

525???? Geez, that's crazy.

[Blackdevil77]

Ya i started senior year in highschool and continued on with it for 3 years. I was a skinny little prick starting off. 165lbs at 6'1. At my peak i was 270lbs built like a bodybuilder but powerlifted. Max 1 rep bench without a bench shirt was 525lbs.

My friends lifted but stopped too. I just stuck with it. It just helped with stress in my life. Parents getting divorced blah blah. Hey don't feel bad, i smashed my finger inbetween the weights today...

HOLY SHIT!!! 525 lbs!!! You are definitely the strongest guy on the boards! I'd put my money on it. I would love to still go but for some things I need a spotter. Benching is one of those things. I need to get in shape badly. I'm 250 pounds right now at 6'. Max bench is 185 pfft. Nothin at all. I think I have the potential to be pretty damn built. Just never got into it enough.
Here's what I look like now :disgust:

http://forum.grrrr8.net/album.php?albumid=13

[G8GT594]

HOLY SHIT!!! 525 lbs!!! You are definitely the strongest guy on the boards! I'd put my money on it. I would love to still go but for some things I need a spotter. Benching is one of those things. I need to get in shape badly. I'm 250 pounds right now at 6'. Max bench is 185 pfft. Nothin at all. I think I have the potential to be pretty damn built. Just never got into it enough.
Here's what I look like now :disgust:

http://forum.grrrr8.net/album.php?albumid=13



525 at 270lbs i have a picture somewere might be at my ma's house though.

Don't be afraid to ask other people for a spot. I don't use a spot anymore. I don't have any intentions at getting near 525lbs anymore. Infact it would prolly crush me if i tried it now. I was eating 5k cals a day, 300 grams of protein a day. Taking a shit load of supplements. Always have a 48 gram protein shake ontop of every meal. Just get back into it. I lifted with guys that had there pro card. Insane dudes, they seriously busted my ass. There was no such thing as a "light day" with them.

[Blackdevil77]

525 at 270lbs i have a picture somewere might be at my ma's house though.

Don't be afraid to ask other people for a spot. I don't use a spot anymore. I don't have any intentions at getting near 525lbs anymore. Infact it would prolly crush me if i tried it now. I was eating 5k cals a day, 300 grams of protein a day. Taking a shit load of supplements. Always have a 48 gram protein shake ontop of every meal. Just get back into it. I lifted with guys that had there pro card. Insane dudes, they seriously busted my ass. There was no such thing as a "light day" with them.

I must say, it paid off. It must feel good to be in that kind of shape but I can never imagine me surviving ass whooping training like that. I gotta re-new my membership and it's back to the gym for me. First I gotta loose some weight first. I'm too.....fat lol. BTW I showed a few ladies pic's of you when i told them about your story and responses from them were along the lines of "awww he's cute" and "he's hot" and "Damn that's a lot of man" LMAO. That last one was my favorite.

[G8GT594]

I must say, it paid off. It must feel good to be in that kind of shape but I can never imagine me surviving ass whooping training like that. I gotta re-new my membership and it's back to the gym for me. First I gotta loose some weight first. I'm too.....fat lol. BTW I showed a few ladies pic's of you when i told them about your story and responses from them were along the lines of "awww he's cute" and "he's hot" and "Damn that's a lot of man" LMAO. That last one was my favorite.

Ya i noticed older women usually like the size.

To lose weight and put on muscle you should lift first do cardio last. I always do 15 minutes of cardio after every training day to keep the fat levels in check. Compound movments are key for beginners. Just got to becarful not to over do it. Compound movments pack on muscle fast then after you feel like you got a solid base you can move onto isolation movments to bring up lagging parts.

[JMorris]

Wow, what a turn this is taking. I never figured you for a muscle head. I thought I would have had the top bench. I have not touched a weight in years (work, kids, injuries etc.) until last week. Seven years ago at 5'8" and 210 lbs. I had 20 inch arms and benched 435. Not even remotely close to your best. For those who have never been into lifting 525 is an insane number. At those weights it can take years to make small gains. I think it took about 3 years for my bench to jump 50 pounds.

Getting that pump again feels good doesn't it! Beware though, I could hardly move after my first work out and I only used enough weight to try and stretch the muscles. Tonight I took off my shirt and you would not believe the stretch marks, big purple scars over 3 inches long glaring at me. I had forgoten about that, guess there is some muscle memory and a lot less elasticity in my skin.

Man, I got to say I'm actually happy this happened to you. I think in the long run you will be far better off. Find a woman next time who lets you have some freedom and make sure you give it to yourself even if you don't want to. Try not to fall off that wagon again (weight lifting). Take it from an old guy (I'm 38 now) It hurts like hell climbing back up. Oh, and that jab I made about a testosterone boost, I was wrong!

[edmanet]

Yup, and when it's sudden and unexpected it's always the same reason.

Yeah and we know what that reason is !!

[-Ray-]

Paul is a pretty big guy. Really nice guy too.

[Blackdevil77]

Ya i noticed older women usually like the size.

To lose weight and put on muscle you should lift first do cardio last. I always do 15 minutes of cardio after every training day to keep the fat levels in check. Compound movments are key for beginners. Just got to becarful not to over do it. Compound movments pack on muscle fast then after you feel like you got a solid base you can move onto isolation movments to bring up lagging parts.

Thanks for the tip's. I'll give that a go. I was doing it backwards lol. I would run first. Oops lol

[Chewy]

Shit just being back in the gym again feel great. I did powerlifting competitions, but obviously stopped due to having know time to train. But i swear taking my anger and emotion out on the weights feels like heaven.



I hear ya there! I had to take some 8 months off after I ruptured a disk in my back and getting back is hard but feels good too!

Gluck!

[99-LS1-SS]

Paul is a pretty big guy. Really nice guy too.
I could take him....5'9" 180lbs...J/K. It'd be more like :punch: I would be the one on the left.

[Blackdevil77]

i could take him....5'9" 180lbs...j/k. It'd be more like :punch: I would be the one on the left.

lmao!!!

[GRRRR8]

I used to be really into also. It has been years, but I bought a BowFlex to start getting the muscles ready so I can switch to free weights again. My worst injury was on a 330lb free weight bench press and my collar bone let loose! Thank God for spotters! What a feeling and site that was to see your shirt just pop out and your arm drop. Being 6'3 230 when I work out is great, but being 41 showed me I need to stick with it because the intial start up is rough, but after 6 weeks I feel so much better and I sleep so much better too. I hate that I smoke cigarettes. It seems so bad for your body to work out for 1.5 - 2 hours and then light up. Somehow I have to quit!

[DollarBill]

Its amazing how much a guy can miss without having a computer for 4 days. 4 DAYS!!! :rant: The repair was supposed to take approx. 18 hours!!!:rant::rant:

[GRRRR8]

You need to put the smack down on that computer! Between the internet and your PC the world is passing you by! lol

[DollarBill]

You need to put the smack down on that computer! Between the internet and your PC the world is passing you by! lol

Na better not hurt it...thats what got it in the shop in the first place! :p

I just read on what the thread was about. Sorry to hear about that man. Glad to hear that you are slowly getting over it! Keep ya head up!!!

[G8GT594]

Im suprised to see a few of you guys pushing some heavy weight around! Glad you getting back into a little bit Charlie. Thats pretty scary though man, never heard of that happening to anyone! Ive seen a few people tear the upper pec were it meets at the front delts. Looked horrible. Always warm up first!

We hung out again last night. Got to meet a few of her friends, they seem alright. Anyways we just talked some more, got to know each other a little more. It went ok just seemed a little different then when we first hung out, like something was bugging her. Anyways it felt good to hug her and we kissed. I'm really starting to like this girl but we also both just got out of relationship so we are going to take it slow i suppose.

[Blackdevil77]

Im suprised to see a few of you guys pushing some heavy weight around! Glad you getting back into a little bit Charlie. Thats pretty scary though man, never heard of that happening to anyone! Ive seen a few people tear the upper pec were it meets at the front delts. Looked horrible. Always warm up first!

We hung out again last night. Got to meet a few of her friends, they seem alright. Anyways we just talked some more, got to know each other a little more. It went ok just seemed a little different then when we first hung out, like something was bugging her. Anyways it felt good to hug her and we kissed. I'm really starting to like this girl but we also both just got out of relationship so we are going to take it slow i suppose.

That's always good but remember, there is such thing as "too slow." Just do what feels right to you. If what feels right to you works out, then it IS right. Oh, and like the great Hitch said, be friendly to her friends so they like you. There approval will mean a lot to this girl. Makes sense I guess right?

Worked out yesterday too. A friend of mine has a Bruce Lea book and he made us follow his routine. I was like "this isn't doing anything." I left feeling fine but when I turned to get outta bed this morning, I fell on my face. I am pretty damn sore right now which is probably why it's talking so long to type this. lol

[SRG963]

Just don't screw up and call her by your X's name....They don't like that to much LOL

[Blackdevil77]

Just don't screw up and call her by your X's name....They don't like that too much LOL

oh hell no! lol. Yeah just be careful and it can happen easier than you think. A lot of things may make you think about her. Just don't slip! lol. you'll be fine.

[99-LS1-SS]

Just don't screw up and call her by your X's name....They don't like that to much LOL
Is that experience talking?

[G8GT594]

Just don't screw up and call her by your X's name....They don't like that to much LOL

I did that once to Jennifer. I was like hey Jess and she was like what the hell did you call me! Ya that night didnt go over to well LOL.

[Chewy]

Just don't screw up and call her by your X's name....They don't like that to much LOL

I am always SOOO afraid of doing that even after 8 months of dating...:o

The thing I try to do is remember all the things I did wrong in all my previous relationships and NOT continue them with the current one.

[G8GT594]

I am always SOOO afraid of doing that even after 8 months of dating...:o

The thing I try to do is remember all the things I did wrong in all my previous relationships and NOT continue them with the current one.

That is what im doing now. It doesn't really seem like i did a lot of things wrong until i sat down and thought about it. I guess you kind of realize how you could have handled a situation differently. Live and learn i guess. It feels weird starting over and dating again. Almost feels like i lost the touch if you get what im saying.

[SRG963]

Almost feels like i lost the touch if you get what im saying.

It's like a bicycle, just get right back on LOL

[Chewy]

That is what im doing now. It doesn't really seem like i did a lot of things wrong until i sat down and thought about it. I guess you kind of realize how you could have handled a situation differently. Live and learn i guess. It feels weird starting over and dating again. Almost feels like i lost the touch if you get what im saying.


The biggest thing I learned from my big one is DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED! Don't expect them to do everything for you... Stand up and help even when you don't want to. Have FUN!

[G8GT594]

The biggest thing I learned from my big one is DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED! Don't expect them to do everything for you... Stand up and help even when you don't want to. Have FUN!

That is exactly what she was telling me yesterday. It seems like shes never been with a guy like me yet LOL. Not saying that im anything special. Ya im just gonna go with the flow you know. If something happens it happens. We have a lot in common from what we've been talking about. Hopefully tonight goes well. Were going to get dinner at Jay Alexanders. Don't know after that. Wish me luck though! Maybe the G8 will help me out LOL.

[Mav]

dont do that. you're better than that man.

[Chewy]

dont do that. you're better than that man.

Agreed! Remember you will have to see her again at school if it doesn't work out... If you like her just let it play out... Don't push it...:spank:

[99-LS1-SS]

It would be a historical moment if the very next girl was the right one. I'm pretty sure that in the history of man that has NEVER happened.

[G8GT594]

Well yesterday night just ok. We went out to dinner then to a hunted hayride. She has never been on one before so she wasy pretty scared lol. A lot of holding onto each other and being close but it just seemed kind of weird. I guess the whole being comfortable around each other isnt there if you get what i mean. When we said goodbye to each other it felt like something was missing. Pretty awkward i guess. We did kiss but it was like 3 little pecks lol. I asked her when we could hang out again and she said maybe sunday and that she would call me 2marrow.

I just feel dumb sometimes. It was weird going on a date. I haven't been on one for god knows how long. I like her so i just hope it turns out good and that last night wasn't our last time seeing each other. I know she has a lot of on her mind so i guess we will see what happens.

On another note she loved the G8, of course i had to show off a little bit she loved that too lol.

[MissNaySimon]

TLDR.

But, it looks like things are looking up? I haven't been on a date in over 4 years.

The guy I was with before my husband treated me like a princess. Then he flipped out one day and hit me. My friend [now husband] saw him do it and kicked his ass. My hero ended up being my husband, my best friend, and the father of my son. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. :)

[-Ray-]

Learn how to be friends with a woman. It will pay dividends later. Don't feel like you need to be with someone right now. It's ok to be alone.

[G8GT594]

Well guys guess who called me today! Jennifer. So it was one week since we talked last. So we talked, cried, whatever. It was awkward as fuck. Obviously she wants to be friends. I'm like friends... 3years to a basic friendship? I basically told her its not that easy for me and that it would take sometime to heal the wounds she caused me and to also see her as just a "friend" I asked her if it was the easy and she just straight up said ya. I was like wow. Just for kicks i asked her if she had someone already she said no but enjoyed not see each other. I guess i'll never tell another girl that i love until she knows for a fact she loves me, because what jennifer felt towards me was obviously not love. You don't just wake up one morning and say "Hmm guess i don't love him anymore so im gonna pack my shit and leave"

I'm glad i truly know how she feels now. From what i gathered she basically does not give a fuck about me. Cool, itll just make my smile that much bigger when i burn everything that she gave me.

[Blackdevil77]

Well guys guess who called me today! Jennifer. So it was one week since we talked last. So we talked, cried, whatever. It was awkward as fuck. Obviously she wants to be friends. I'm like friends... 3years to a basic friendship? I basically told her its not that easy for me and that it would take sometime to heal the wounds she caused me and to also see her as just a "friend" I asked her if it was the easy and she just straight up said ya. I was like wow. Just for kicks i asked her if she had someone already she said no but enjoyed not see each other. I guess i'll never tell another girl that i love until she knows for a fact she loves me, because what jennifer felt towards me was obviously not love. You don't just wake up one morning and say "Hmm guess i don't love him anymore so im gonna pack my shit and leave"

I'm glad i truly know how she feels now. From what i gathered she basically does not give a fuck about me. Cool, itll just make my smile that much bigger when i burn everything that she gave me.


HAHA!!!! TOLD YOU SHE WOULD CALL!!!!! and we all knew the "just friends" thing was coming. I'm glad to hear your healing well. I know it still hurts but your on your way. So she got emotional too right?

[G8GT594]

HAHA!!!! TOLD YOU SHE WOULD CALL!!!!! and we all knew the "just friends" thing was coming. I'm glad to hear your healing well. I know it still hurts but your on your way. So she got emotional too right?

It sounded like she was trying not to cry. She got emotional in several ways. The first she said it has been hard on her and the next she started yelling at me about all the things i did wrong in our relationship. At this point i was obviously crying my eyes out and then she had the audacity to tell me and i quote "It hurts more to be with you then not to be with you" I did'nt know what to say to that.

Honestly it made me feel like all of it was a lie instead of getting sad i got pissed and stupidly punched the garage door and dented it. She didn't know what i did i just calmy said really? and she was like ya. Her actions and words were so immature.

I hope she is happy now and hopefully she can find someone else thats better than me because apparently i was not good enough. It hard to move on and its fuckin weird to go out on a date with someone else but whatever.

I think one day shell realize what she had with me when shes with the next guy and miss it, or shell need something from me and i won't be around anymore.

[Blackdevil77]

It sounded like she was trying not to cry. She got emotional in several ways. The first she said it has been hard on her and the next she started yelling at me about all the things i did wrong in our relationship. At this point i was obviously crying my eyes out and then she had the audacity to tell me and i quote "It hurts more to be with you then not to be with you" I did'nt know what to say to that.

Honestly it made me feel like all of it was a lie instead of getting sad i got pissed and stupidly punched the garage door and dented it. She didn't know what i did i just calmy said really? and she was like ya. Her actions and words were so immature.

I hope she is happy now and hopefully she can find someone else thats better than me because apparently i was not good enough. It hard to move on and its fuckin weird to go out on a date with someone else but whatever.

I think one day shell realize what she had with me when shes with the next guy and miss it, or shell need something from me and i won't be around anymore.

Wow. How can she fake for 3 years and why would she? When she felt that strongly about it and everything. Don't listen to what you did wrong. Be yourself the whole time. You do that you can't do any wrong, if she (anyone) doesn't like it and can't deal with it, that means your not right for each other. As far as punching the garage door, just displacement of anger. Nothing wrong with that (except a dented garage door) lol.

[wreckwriter]

She's not being honest with you even now. When a long term relationship breaks without warning there's one reason only. Been there done that, a bunch of times.

[G8GT594]

Wow. How can she fake for 3 years and why would she? When she felt that strongly about it and everything. Don't listen to what you did wrong. Be yourself the whole time. You do that you can't do any wrong, if she (anyone) doesn't like it and can't deal with it, that means your not right for each other. As far as punching the garage door, just displacement of anger. Nothing wrong with that (except a dented garage door) lol.

It just how she is making me feel right now. Im telling you guys if you could hear her voice its almost nothing for her to say lets be friends.

Tom, i know there something else going on shes still not telling me about. I will prolly never know either. I guess this is what happens eh? You never totally know a person.

I think i might stay single for a while and just go and see what i can catch if you know what i mean. I need to do something to stop thinking about her. It gets pretty lonely going out for joy rides in the G8 now... lol.

[wreckwriter]

Before you know you'll be moved on. You're doing just fine. That "friends" shit is just to ease her conscience, your call on how to answer that. either way, same result.

[-Ray-]

She's not being honest with you even now. When a long term relationship breaks without warning there's one reason only. Been there done that, a bunch of times.

Yeah, it's so she can "work" on herself. LOL

[-Ray-]

It just how she is making me feel right now. Im telling you guys if you could hear her voice its almost nothing for her to say lets be friends.

Tom, i know there something else going on shes still not telling me about. I will prolly never know either. I guess this is what happens eh? You never totally know a person.

I think i might stay single for a while and just go and see what i can catch if you know what i mean. I need to do something to stop thinking about her. It gets pretty lonely going out for joy rides in the G8 now... lol.

I joy ride in my G8 alone a lot, and I'm married. I don't need some woman sitting in the other seat for me to enjoy this car. In fact, it's better that voice is not there. "Raymond, you're going to fast, you're gonna get a ticket Raymond." LOL

[Chewy]

I see you're at the ANGER stage... I remember that quite well... FUN AS HELL! :chemist:


I got rid of EVERYTHING that reminded me of her...:cd:

[G8GT594]

I joy ride in my G8 alone a lot, and I'm married. I don't need some woman sitting in the other seat for me to enjoy this car. In fact, it's better that voice is not there. "Raymond, you're going to fast, you're gonna get a ticket Raymond." LOL

O i know what you mean Ray. It was always fun to see her face light up when i hit it around a corner though. Aw well those times are gone. This week is starting off nicely though, i finally got some good sleep last night the bags are almost gone under my eyes.

Really though I cant thank you guys enough for helping me out through this. Its been one of the hardest situations in my life thus far. I just really appreciate all the things you guys have said to make this easier on me. It really means a lot!

[Blackdevil77]

Just checking up. How is everything going Paul?

[DrivenVA]

She's not being honest with you even now. When a long term relationship breaks without warning there's one reason only. Been there done that, a bunch of times.

I agree with this statement 100%. I just didn't want to be the first to say it since I know the OP is hurting.

Sorry man, but the odds that your relationship ended because she got emotionally involved with another guy are overwhelming. I don't say that to make you feel bad, but to maybe help you understand that its not YOU that wasn't good enough for her.

Just get happy with you again and don't push for a new relationship. After being together so long, you need to regain your independence and confidence. Just let things unfold naturally and soon you will not even want to hear from Jennifer again.

On a personal note, I would place an expiration date on your friendship with her. You can give her a bit of time to come around, but in my opinion, maintaining a friendship with an old flame, especially a long term one, will probably sabotage future relationships. I don't see how it could possibly help. If you find yourself getting involved with a new woman, cut contact with Jennifer.

-Andrew

[G8GT594]

Just checking up. How is everything going Paul?


Well its getting better i suppose. Ive been making myself busy LOL. There have been a couple of rough times throughout the days were i would have a mental set back but ive learned to but the phone down now instead of trying to call her.



I agree with this statement 100%. I just didn't want to be the first to say it since I know the OP is hurting.

Sorry man, but the odds that your relationship ended because she got emotionally involved with another guy are overwhelming. I don't say that to make you feel bad, but to maybe help you understand that its not YOU that wasn't good enough for her.

Just get happy with you again and don't push for a new relationship. After being together so long, you need to regain your independence and confidence. Just let things unfold naturally and soon you will not even want to hear from Jennifer again.

On a personal note, I would place an expiration date on your friendship with her. You can give her a bit of time to come around, but in my opinion, maintaining a friendship with an old flame, especially a long term one, will probably sabotage future relationships. I don't see how it could possibly help. If you find yourself getting involved with a new woman, cut contact with Jennifer.

-Andrew
Yes, i agree with you. There was/is someone else. There just has to be. I told her that trying to be friends when i want so much more than that is trying to ask me to move a mountian. It just not going to work. There have been several times were shes texted me and i would write down how much i still wish we were together but i would never send it. I don't want hear knowing how i feel anymore. I don't want her knowing she could come back and i just might take her back. No more of that shit. My last text i sent her simply said... "It takes time to heal the wounds that were made along the way"

Friends? Not now. After good amount of time... I.E. a year? possibly.

[DrivenVA]

Yes, i agree with you. There was/is someone else. There just has to be. I told her that trying to be friends when i want so much more than that is trying to ask me to move a mountian. It just not going to work. There have been several times were shes texted me and i would write down how much i still wish we were together but i would never send it. I don't want hear knowing how i feel anymore. I don't want her knowing she could come back and i just might take her back. No more of that shit. My last text i sent her simply said... "It takes time to heal the wounds that were made along the way"

Friends? Not now. After good amount of time... I.E. a year? possibly.

I think more often than not, the whole "Let's stay friends" thing is nothing more than an attempt to keep you on her hook, trailing behind her, in case the new relationship works out. She can always fall back on you, right? Wrong.

Without a doubt, the best thing for you to do is stop telling/showing her how much you miss her. It may be just a facade for you, but let her see that you are moving on with your life without her. Women are attracted to confidence and independence, and the sooner she realizes that you are not at her beck and call the better. Chances are she will even try to pull you back during this time, and it will be your choice whether you want to start dating her again.

Personally, I wouldn't. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Move on and find a woman that you can have a relationship with without the latent feelings of abandonment.

[jbradsh1]

Some of you guys met her at the meet at VMS. Her name is Jennifer. Were both young, but thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We were off and on for the first couple months of our relationship but ended up working out great. I loved her and still do withall my heart. And after 3 years 1 month and 14 days shes gone. I don't know what i did wrong, i have no clue. She doesn't want me even talking to her at all. She told me she just wants to be free and not worry about me. I don't know what that means. After all we have been through, everything, i have so much memories built up with her. We were going to get married next year in the summer. Guys, im seriously devasted, ive been balling my outs since 630 this morning. Work was horrible, i couldnt see the computer. Ive never felt this horrible in my life. I sit and all i do is think about her and i cant figure out why she was able to leave me like she did. She look misrable when she said but didn't cry. I just fell on the floor and couldn't move. I feel like my heart is seriously torn into hundreds of little peices. She wont pick up when i call, doesnt respond to my text. I dont know what to do. I just love so much and its all gone now.

G8GT594: My advice, go down to your friendly local Dianetics center and tell you them are very upset over the loss of your fiance. They will schedule a session for you where you look over your time with your fiance and then magically the trauma will just disappear, i.e., you won't have the pain anymore. Let me know how it goes for you.

[wreckwriter]

Hmmmmm....

[-Ray-]

G8GT594: My advice, go down to your friendly local Dianetics center and tell you them are very upset over the loss of your fiance. They will schedule a session for you where you look over your time with your fiance and then magically the trauma will just disappear, i.e., you won't have the pain anymore. Let me know how it goes for you.

You are a little late in the game don't you think?
Someone had to come up with the worst advice I guess.

[jbradsh1]

Never too late!!!

[DollarBill]

Never too late!!!

I thought i was late! That was 7 pages ago!!!:poke:

[jetttstream]

I had a girl from Northville fuck me over too. Her name isn't Natalie is it? Blonde?

Anyhow let me tell you this (late in the game I know---11pgs late)

But of everything I have done in my life I would not change one thing

I have a beautiful wife and 2 great kids.

Your luck will turn around and your life will turn out how it's supposed to.

Keep chuggin along b/c there are better people out there for you.

-Mike

[todds87ss]

WOW. 13 pages of "Man up", "have a beer", and "you'll get over it"!
I'm glad to read that things are getting better.
One thing to always remember:
Women area ALL crazy...except your mother, and how well did you really know her?

[SRG963]

WOW. 13 pages of "Man up", "have a beer", and "you'll get over it"!
I'm glad to read that things are getting better.
One thing to always remember:
Women are ALL crazy...except your mother, and how well did you really know her?

So true so true.

Watch out for them crazy eyes, it's a tale tale sign!

ROFLMAO

[G8H8]

Prozac works wonders for depression

[jetttstream]

Prozac works wonders for depression

So does horsepower and blowing the fucking doors off another car!!!!!!!!!!

TIME FOR NITROUS!! or that hot twin turbo kit!!!

-Mike

[G8GT594]

I had a girl from Northville fuck me over too. Her name isn't Natalie is it? Blonde?

Anyhow let me tell you this (late in the game I know---11pgs late)

But of everything I have done in my life I would not change one thing

I have a beautiful wife and 2 great kids.

Your luck will turn around and your life will turn out how it's supposed to.

Keep chuggin along b/c there are better people out there for you.

-Mike

My ex was Jennifer. I don't know any Natalie's from northville but i do know the younger girls around here will take advantage of you. Ya i know im a kid to some of you guys, but im really want to settle down and start my life, have a family blah blah you guys know the rest.

Jettttstream... nitrous is next year, so is a cam and converter lol.